Need more quotes? Click here for Book Extracts on Sex
In October, borrowing from the U.S. Air Guitar Championship (which honors self-made guitar "heroes" playing wild rock 'n' roll as if they were holding real guitars), the second annual Air Sex Championship was held in the Music Hall in Brooklyn, N.Y., and eventually won by Lady C. (whose performance could not easily be described). Each contestant (solo only) had two minutes to cover "all the bases": "meeting, seduction, foreplay, intercourse, and, if successful, afterglow," and exposing body parts was not allowed.
Indonesia's holy "Sex Mountain" on the island of Java is still performing its incomprehensible function of making Muslims feel prosperous and optimistic if they have intercourse with strangers, as reported in November by Australia's "SBS Dateline" TV program. A reporter journeyed to Mount Kemukus (near the heavily populated Surakarta) to observe the mass adultery whose origin dates to the 16th century. Otherwise-devout pilgrims pray, bathe and pair off with other worshippers (repeating the ritual seven times, 35 days apart) to bring themselves the good life -- except that the sex must be with people other than their spouses. Clerics generally denounce the Kemukus experience, but more so since prostitutes (collecting "offerings") are lately so plentiful at the site.
From 2005-2010, Prague had a brothel where men paid a one-time $23 fee, and women and couples entered for free. The catch was that their exploits were filmed and streamed online to paying customers.
There was a custom in ancient Babylon compelling all women at least once in their lives to go to the temple of Aphrodite and have sex with a stranger.
In August, for the 12th straight year, a group of Japanese adult-film actresses have volunteered their breasts to raise money for an AIDS-prevention charity event shown on an X-rated cable TV channel from Tokyo. The 12-hour-long "squeeze-a-thon" ("Boob Aid") sold individual fondles to men for donations of at least (the equivalent of) $9, with donors required first to spray on disinfectant. In all, 4,100 pairs of hands roamed the nine actresses.
Nikola Tesla was voluntarily chaste, despite numerous women "vying for his affections some even madly in love with him", because he believed sex inhibited his abilities to think in a scientific manner.
In the Netherlands, citizens with disabilities receive money from the Government to pay for sexual services up to 12 times a year. This move has drastically reduced depression among the disabled, many of whom have never had a chance to explore their sexuality.
It can't be easy being a GP. Trying to diagnose and treat a patient's problem during a quick consultation is hard, especially when the patient resorts to euphemism to avoid embarrassment. Dr Ian Sykes, in GP Magazine, recalls asking a woman which method of contraception she used. Pressed further about her opaque reply - "I get off at Bilston" - the woman added: "We don't go all the way to Wolverhampton." Dr Sykes was confused. And who wouldn't be? "Then", he says, "the penny dropped - she was using the withdrawal method."
a whimsical public-service campaign in January has created unusually savage criticism. The organization partnered with the British comedy music band The Midnight Beast to produce a video suggesting anal sex as a contraceptive of choice. Among the lyrics of one song, "One up the bum, and it's no harm done / One up the bum, and you won't be a mum."
Porn is an easy solution to several problems. Unlike RL, don't have to persuade partner, don't have to satisfy her needs, don't have to wait until she's available, and no threat to your authority..
The inspector general of the National Science Foundation revealed that on-the-job viewing of pornography websites was so widespread at the agency that the resultant ethics investigations hindered his primary mission of investigating fraud on grant contracts. The agency report, obtained by the Washington Times in September, said the heaviest user was a senior executive who logged on to pornography at least 331 days in 2008. He subsequently retired, but before leaving defended his habit, claiming that his website visits actually helped impoverished women in Third World countries to earn a decent living (by posing for pornography).
The colossus PornHub dot com, in its annual January rundown, reported its several sites had 23 billion "visits" in 2016 (about one-fourth from females)--during which its videos were viewed 91 billion times. In all, earthlings spent 4.6 billion hours watching PornHub's inventory (that is 5.2 centuries' time doing whatever people do when viewing porn). U.S.A. took home the gold for the most "page views" per capita, just nipping Iceland. Online visitors from the Philippines, for the third straight year, remained (per capita) on the sites the longest per visit. The top search term on PornHub from U.S. computers was "step mom."
A Mexico City man fell to his death recently in the city's San Antonio neighborhood when he climbed to turn off a highway video sign on the Periferico Sur highway that was showing a pornographic clip apparently placed by a hacker.
At Madame Tussauds it takes up to six months for a team of artists to create one of the wax figures. Yet a solo American 3-D designer, Dan Roarty, recently created a lifelike, printable 3-D model based on his belated grandmother in a third of the time. They already use 3D printing to make sex toys customized to look like anything or one you like. Only a matter of time before these two ideas are combined to make sex dolls looking like whoever you want.
Talking of contraception, the RAF is using condoms to recruit 'practical and resourceful' young men. A marketing pack designed to publicise a recruiting event included a condom and a question: "Is a condom simply for personal protection or does it have other uses?" Apparently, it does, and many of them, although tantalisingly the magazine lists only one: storing water. What could the others be? Rocket launcher? Camouflage? Regimental tie?
From Hungary comes the Serenading Condom, which uses same little chip that runs tinny tunes in birthday or xmas cards when the condom is opened. Choice of two tunes: either You Sweet Little Dumbell or the Internationale aka Arise Ye Workers.
A January 2011 fact sheet by the pro-abortion rights Guttmacher Institute listed all the reasons that women who have had an abortion give for their unexpected pregnancy, and not one of them is lack of access to contraception. In fact, 54 percent of women who had abortions had used a contraceptive method, if incorrectly, in the month they got pregnant. For the 46 percent who had not used contraception, 33 percent had perceived themselves to be at low risk for pregnancy; 32 percent had had concerns about contraceptive methods; 26 percent had had unexpected sex, and 1 percent had been forced to have sex. Not one fraction of 1 percent said they got pregnant because they lacked access to contraception. Some described having unexpected sex, but all that can be said about them is that they are irresponsible, not that they felt they lacked access to contraception.
Sydney Morning Herald report on new field of Happiness Studies reckoned you could improve your happiness the same as a $60,000 pa raise, simply by increasing the frequency of sex to twice a week (writer of article said he put it to his wife - "look it's practically money in the bank." She countered with "the question is, have I got a spare 90 seconds?")
Ashley Madison is the brainchild of 43-year-old former sports lawyer Noel Biderman. What he calls his "lightbulb moment" involved the confluence of two things: the discovery that up to 30% of people on internet dating sites were not single, and what he describes as "a lot of professional contact with infidelity". He worked with an NBA basketball player who had been sold to Milan, and who panicked when his wife announced a visit to Italy. "He said: 'My Italian wife isn't going to like it.' Oh my goodness!"
Newspaper cartoon showing couple in bed, she's reading out the report "According to this doctor, sex every day keeps you looking young" He asks "What's he a doctor of?" She: "Male propaganda"
Superman: While thousands of Japanese women accept commercial pornographic movie roles, only a dwindling number of males (by one estimate, only 30 industrywide) are available to pair with them ("stallions on call," according to one producer). That makes the undisputed king of Japanese porn "Shimiken," 35, in such demand that he works as many as six movies a day with few days off. His oeuvre, according to an double-entendre-laden March profile in Details magazine, includes 7,000 films, with at least 7,500 "co-stars," including, once, 72-year-old twins. To maintain his vigor, he hits the gym fanatically and downs mineral supplements and complex amino acids--but no Viagra. "I haven't had to use it," he said (adding, after a pause, "yet").
Douglas Goldsberry, 45, was charged in the Omaha,Neb., neighborhood of Elkhorn with paying prostitutes to do his erotic bidding ("75 times," he used them, according to a police report)--to come strip, baring their breasts while standing on the front porch of his neighbors across the street while Goldsberry watched and masturbated.
Sydney NRL player interviewed on Footy Show mentioned that he was still a virgin. One of other players said "Mate, your insides must be like an ice-cream truck."
And still on the subject of sex + health, one commentator reckoned he'd told his wife "Using the Weight Watcher's point system, I reckon you can just lie there like a starfish and work off half a point, or you can be really adventurous and make it 4 points worth"
There is a painless test that you can carry out at home to establish whether erectile failure is “psychogenic” (the result of psychological factors) or “organic” (the result of conditions as blockage of the blood vessels supplying the penis). Most men experience an erection between three and five times during the night. Each erection usually lasts for about 25 to 35 minutes and they usually occur during REM sleep. The following test may sound absurd, but it’s fairly standard, and it works. If your husband is willing, all he needs to do is to attach a strip of postage stamps to his penis before going to bed and, if the strip is broken when he wakes in the morning, it shows that he is capable of experiencing normal erection and, therefore, his problem is caused by psychological factors.
Viagra sometimes just exposes underlying condition - husband no longer likes partner.po
Claim that that is why French women less obese - don't bother with gyms - only exercise they get is afternoon sex (sometimes even with their husbands)
Sydney woman having sex with strangers while sleepwalking - one night husband came downstairs
While men are ready, villain and able, a woman's biggest fantasy in the bedroom involves discovering that her husband has picked his underpants up off the floor.
On official Name/ Address/ Age forms, after it says Sex most women should write: Not if I can possibly help it.
The Museum of Sex, on New York's Fifth Avenue at 27th Street, opens at 10 a.m. Sunday, and a steady stream of people came through when I was there, representing pretty much any demographic group you care to name. Available for their perusal: sexy clips from pornographic and mainstream movies; models of a male and a female torso beside a sign reading, Please touch gently; a display about bondage, domination and such explaining that these practices include, but are not limited to: role playing, flagellation, erotic spanking, tickling, whipping, paddling, sensory deprivation, movement restriction as well as sensation play.
A major study published last year found that premarital abstinence pledges among teens were ineffective and often counterproductive -- teens were just as likely to have sex but less likely to use condoms or other forms of birth control.
"Sex strikes" (the withholding of favors) are employed from time to time, especially in underdeveloped countries, to influence political leaders' decisions. However, these almost always appear in patriarchies in which females have little influence beyond the power of sexual denial. In December, Stanley Kalembaye of Uganda's National Resistance Movement, battling to unseat the ruling party, publicly called for the nation's men to withhold sex from their wives unless the wives promise to vote for the Resistance.
Studies of mate preference throughout the world overwhelmingly show that men prefer to mate with women with low waist-to-hip ratios in the normal weight range. Men don't like women who are underweight, and men certainly don't like women who are overweight. So overweight and obese women could not possibly have as much sex as normal-weight women, let alone more sex, if men decide when and with whom to have sex. Most men would simply not choose overweight and obese women as their preferred sexual partners. Overweight and obese women can have more sex than normal-weight women only if women decide when and with whom to have sex, and men have little say in the matter.
When a man propositions a woman, she can respond in one of two ways; she can say "yes" or she can say "no". When a woman propositions a man, he can also respond in one of two ways; he can say "yes" or he can say "yes, please". He has no realistic choice to say no. Men may not be saying "yes, please" to overweight and obese women, but Kaneshiro's study clearly suggests that they are definitely saying "yes".
Australian Rugby League tried to recall 30,000 CD's sent out to kids after a pic of a topless woman inadvertently included among photos of star footballers. AFL urged parents to return CD's and promised replacements. How many do you think got returned? Just the one!
Indian woman cut off her husband's penis after he brought a prostitute home
Benjamin Greene, 22, was charged in December with shoplifting a nude blow-up doll from a Spencer's Gifts store in Spartanburg,S.C., but on closer inspection, the doll was less than met the eye. It was one of the manufacturer's "Super Star Series" of dolls suggesting resemblances to celebrities like Jessica Simpson and Lindsay Lohan, but which are apparently all the same generic plastic doll resembling no human. The packaging on Greene's $19.19 "Finally Mylie![sic] Love Doll" suggests singer Miley Cyrus ("finally" presumably to honor Cyrus's having recently turned 18 and "legal"), but it, too, was the generic plastic doll.
When Hockney was growing up there, Bradford had 40 cinemas. Not only did they enable his first taste of Hollywood but it was in one of Bradford's fleapits that "a man suddenly reached out and took my hand and placed it on his erect cock. I enjoyed it. And it gave me a lifelong love of cinemas".
The Turkish military's legendary homophobia (rare among NATO countries) comprises both zero-tolerance for homosexuality by service personnel and the requirement of rigorous proof by anyone applying for exemption from service by claiming to be gay. (Homosexuality is the only disqualifier from compulsory service for able-bodied men.) In personal experiences recounted for Foreign Policy magazine in December, some gay men seeking exemptions were ordered to verify their claims by producing witnesses to their homosexual acts, or by photographing themselves fully engaged--and to be persuasive to authorities, the conscript had to be depicted in the "receiving" position in sexual intercourse.
Zambian man committed suicide after wife caught him shagging a goat
Farmer in Crete jailed for having sex with neighbour's goat, but only because it died
Italian woman divorced her husband (and sued him) because he didn't bother telling her before they married that he was impotent (and he was too embarrassed to seek treatment)
Penile fractures are most common when a man forcibly tries to make his erection disappear. For example, in Iran, more than half of all reported penile fractures occur as a result of manual bending of the erected penis in order to achieve detumescence. The practice is known as “Taqaandan” and involves bending the top part of the erect penis while holding the lower part of the shaft in place, until a click is heard. Urologist MK Moslemi from Kamkar Hospital, Qom, Iran, explains this in terms of the “high level of shame due to cultural issues” (ie, forceful hiding of an erect penis in underwear).
30% Italians admitted in a survey that they enjoyed having sex in unusual places, with washing machine on spin cycle the favorite
'Premature ejaculation' has been redefined in Britain as "under 2 minutes" (was 7 minutes!) after a study in which women were given stopwatches to time partner
Jesse Bering wrote Why Is The Penis Shaped Like That? - one of things discussed is premature ejaculation. The condition may be seen as unfortunate today, he says, but in evolutionary terms it may have been advantageous, allowing males to mate as quickly as possible with many different women. If such characteristics are inherited, this sexual strike rate could mean that, over time, homo sapiens actually became ‘overpopulated with rapid ejaculators’.
Worcestershire couple still virgins after 37 years of marriage "Just not interested".
Even "safe sex" not fool-proof. In US, thriving industry in paternity suits against rich professional sportsmen has given rise to several cases where the woman has allegedly kept the used condom and impregnated herself afterwards.
Sex discrimination case in Calif where it was the women who hadn't had the sex who were complaining of discrimination - the prison warden boss was 'unfairly favoring' for promotion 3 women he'd had affairs with. (One of the favored women had beaten up one of the complainants)
Woman with 'Transient Global Amnesia' in court claiming guy took advantage of her because she fainted every time she heard word 'sex'. During the trial she collapsed several times , whenever the word mentioned.
"This is a rare occurrence," said a Loyola University (Chicago) neurology professor in September, describing to WebMD.com only the seventh reported case of someone's suffering a stroke during orgasm. Several things must be present in series to create the condition, including having an unnatural opening between the two upper chambers of the heart (a "PFO"). Also, a blood clot must develop and break loose and then get sucked through the PFO at the moment of ecstasy, sending it directly to the brain.
The wax dummy of Pres Clinton at Madame Tussauds they had to sew up the fly as so many tourists taking photo of friends kneeling in front of him
Article on a convicted paedophile who was also an outspoken leader of Christian political party suggested that he came unstuck because rigid attitude to sex based on idea that can be kept under control.
Film 'Kinsey' documented man who had had sex with 17 members of his own family (including Grandma!), 22 species of animal, 600 boys and 200 girls. So how exactly do you try to define "normal"?
Flour beetles live in groups of 100 or more, with a lot of sex. Male increases chance of being father with a spiny penis that scrapes out sperm from preceding suitor. But sperm is sticky, and the first beetle's sperm sticks to second beetle's genitalia. So when the second beetle moves on to another female, he may transfer first guy's sperm, thus impregnating a female he's never met.
If you want to see serious sex, try the Wasp Moth. Male wraps them both in a fibre protective cocoon, needed because sex takes 9 hours (Sting eat your heart out) during which time he transfers one fifth of his body weight in sperm.
An igNobel prize went to guy in Rotterdam working in a museum with high glass windows into which birds regularly crashed. One unusually loud "Thump" sent guy outside to see a dead mallard duck lying on the ground and another standing beside it. To his amazement the survivor mounted the dead bird and tried to mate with it for over an hour, only stopping when chased away. (Wrote it up as "Homosexual necrophilia in Mallard Ducks")
Honey bees ejaculate so forcefully that their penises explode. This kills the honey bee.
Northern Territories of Australia they've set up 'condom trees' in the Bush to try to get Aborigines to use condoms
Guy who invented the automatic pilot (as well as a lot of other aircraft inventions) was both good-looking and wealthy. He was credited with inventing the Mile High Club - took his female friends on sight-seeing trips above NY, switch on the auto pilot and then ... Came unstuck in 1916, when he crashed into NY Harbor. He claimed it was the force of the crash which stripped both he and his (married) passenger's clothes, but the newspaper headline of the day read "Aerial Petting Leads To Wetting"
Nelson NZ guy attached what he thought was a Christmas Card to his email newsletter, not realizing it also downloaded a 3 minute porn movie - he said "People have been rather sweet about it. They've been ringing me up to say they didn't get the email and could I send it again"
An eloquent man is one who can describe Dolly Parton without using his hands
If god hadn't meant us to masturbate he would have made our arms shorter
Billy Connolly, after visiting the Old Melbourne Gaol and seeing the thick leather gloves they made prisoners wear to stop self-abuse, "I remember my first sexual experience .. I was afraid .. it was dark .. I was alone."
His (Martin Cole, pioneering sexologist who shocked Britain with the education film Growing Up) numerous books included Sex: Why It Goes Wrong and What You Can Do About It (1989), which contained the memorable lines: “Is Masturbation Good For You?” to which his answer was: “This question is like asking, ‘Is climbing a mountain good for you?’ — it all depends on whether you enjoy climbing mountains.”
She was the madam of skid row, a working girl whose brothel consisted of several Porta-Potties at the corner of Sixth and San Julian. The johns came to the johns, and Madam TJ reeled them in with a fetching smile and slinky strut, all of it playing out a block from the LAPD's Central Division. There was no more jaw-dropping snapshot of skid row as a rock-bottom depository, a place that existed on its own terms, outside the law and the collective consciousness. When I met TJ in the fall of 2005, she had a shocker for me. She didn't just work in a Porta-Potty. She lived in one. Look, she showed me one night -- here were her clothes, her fine hats, her personal effects. Home sweet home. The column caused no small amount of shame and discomfort at City Hall, and the Porta-Potties, which also served as drug dens, were trucked away..... TJ, which stood for "Thick and Juicy."
In truth, men still expect women to be virginal. The new man in a woman's life will invariably ask: "Darling, darling, am I the first man to make love to you?" To which the woman will reply: "Of course you are ... I don't know why you men keep asking the same silly question."
Syrian refugees (mostly, Muslims) may pose a humanitarian and political crisis for Germany, but the Virginia Care company of Recklinghausen, Germany, said they are good for its business: sales of fake hymens, for women to convince Muslim grooms to believe they were wedding-night virgins. The non-chaste Virginia Care buyer inserts a membraned packet (about US$54) that will burst by penetrative sex, releasing blood coloring. (The "blood" is available either in "Original" dark brownish red, which parents are said to expect, or "Advanced" brighter red, thought to be more satisfying to husbands.)
According to the many women I've interviewed for my novels over the years, if a man does attempt a little half-hearted foreplay, he invariably prods away at the clitoris as though it's an elevator button and he's running late for a meeting. It is then that a woman might cut to the carnal chase and say, exasperatedly, "Oh, just take the stairs"
The male Acarophenax tribolii mite hatches while still inside its mother, then impregnates its sisters and dies before birth
She did things your mother would never do, like have sex for money.
You know how to tell if a man's had an orgasm? He's snoring
Would you like to come up to my room and look at the ceiling for a while?
Will you respect me in the morning? Depends on how good you are
Ever made love in the back of a car? No? Well, do you want a ride home then?
You know that expression women get when they really really want sex? Yeah me neither
When you're feeling down, I'll be there to feel you up.
English nymphomaniac - has to have sex every 6 months no matter what
Definition of a perfect man - make love to you till 2am then turn into a box of chocolates
3 words you don't want to hear when making love to your girlfriend "Honey, I'm home"
We had a fast and furious affair - I was fast and she was furious
Why do women fake orgasm? They think men care
Research shows that half the people sing in the shower and the other half jerk off. And do you know what the singers sing? No, I didn't think you would